Dear Diary,
I really sad today. I feel like I was not a part of this family...it's still happen since I was a child until now.... even I already have 2 kids. Sometimes I feel like I'm "adopted" or maybe I'm just my dad's daughter. Why she always treat me like this? Like I'm not her daughter. I know I'm not as good as my two brothers. But I still keep trying to be better than before. And I still trying until now.
Dear Diary,
I think I am a good daughter. Since I was a child, I always listen to what she said....and never argue until now. They want me to study hard....I never drop my class since standard 4 until form 5. I always be one of the top. Then, she ask me to further my study. I continue matriculation science after I have grade 2 in SPM. After I pass my matriculation, I continue study in UKM with a course I never like. Then after 3 semester, I failed. Because I don't like the course and because my health problem. Is it my fault???? Yes...she always said that is my fault coz I'm not as good as my brother. Fine......
Dear Diary,
Then, I have to think of myself. I have to get my degree. Then I'll take distance learning at UPM in communication. I really love this subject. It help me in any different way of communication. Then, I get my degree, 2nd class upper. I really satisfied.....thank you Allah....
Dear Diary,
I have to make a decision of my life too. I hope my decision can take me out of this problem. I don't want to give any trouble to her. That's why, I get married. Besides I really want a child that time, I also want to stay away from home. But otherwise, fate gives me something else. Too much challenges in my life. Until I reach the highest level of my patience. And I give up.......But I still believe in fate. I know it would be better one day......
Dear Diary,
Until now, I never make her satisfied with me....in whatever I did.....anything.....what I supposed to do? Just pray? Something miracle happen to me.....but when? Sometimes, I wanna give up of life. But I have to stay because of my children....and I'll do anything for them.... That's my promise..... I don't want my children go through my past experience... They deserve a better life.... with joy and love....
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