"I fight with u. cuz i luv u so

much"

Wanna Tell This To You,

I Had Never Cared For Someone As

I Do For You,

I Wanna Tell This To You,

You Are My Heart And My Soul Too,

I Wanna Tell This To You,

You Had Shown Me A Different

World A Different Path To Go,

I Wanna Tell This To You...

You Make A Difference To Me..

I Wanna Tell This To You...

I Am Nothing Without You...

I Wanna Tell This To You...

Few Expressions Cant Be

Expressed In Words...

I Wanna Tell This To You...

My Heart Is Beating And Its

Beating For You...

I Wanna Tell This To You...

I LOVE U...!!!! 

ALONE OR BE ALONE?

I really want a Relationship where we can act like Idiots, Talk about the Most Random Stuff, Share Every Moment and never get Tired of Each Other...!! ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Just because my eyes do not show tears,
doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t cry n i don’t get hurt.
.
Just because I come out strong,
doesn’t mean there is nothing wrong.
.
Often I choose to pretend that i’m
happy.
.
So I don’t have to explain myself to people
who’ll never understand.
.
Smiling has always been easier than
explaining y i’m sad…!!

MISS YOU

CONFUSE.....................:(

Saat hati ini berkata

kau lah yang akan menjadi terakhir dihati ini

aku tahu, engkaulah segalanya bagiku

kehidupan ku akan terasa hampa, tanpa kehadiran mu

Aku sedar

aku terlalu menyayangimu

aku belum mampu hidup tanpamu

kau sebahagian dari hidup ku

Ketika bersamamu

aku menemukan erti memiliki

aku menemukan sebuah kebahagian

aku menemukan apa yang tak aku temukan diperjalanan cintaku

Sayang..

kau harus tahu

cinta ini akan selalu milikmu

selamanya aku selalu milikmu

jangan pernah belajar untuk meninggalkan aku

kerana aku..

SANGAT MENCINTAI DIRI MU SEPENUH HATI KU....

i love u syg

WHAT IS LOVE?

FRUSTRATED!!!!!

IT'S A BAD...BAD...BAD DAY...:(

Dear Diary,

I really sad today. I feel like I was not a part of this family...it's still happen since I was a child until now.... even I already have 2 kids. Sometimes I feel like I'm "adopted" or maybe I'm just my dad's daughter. Why she always treat me like this? Like I'm not her daughter. I know I'm not as good as my two brothers. But I still keep trying to be better than before. And I still trying until now.

Dear Diary,

I think I am a good daughter. Since I was a child, I always listen to what she said....and never argue until now. They want me to study hard....I never drop my class since standard 4 until form 5. I always be one of the top. Then, she ask me to further my study. I continue matriculation science after I have grade 2 in SPM. After I pass my matriculation, I continue study in UKM with a course I never like. Then after 3 semester, I failed. Because I don't like the course and because my health problem. Is it my fault???? Yes...she always said that is my fault coz I'm not as good as my brother. Fine......

Dear Diary,

Then, I have to think of myself. I have to get my degree. Then I'll take distance learning at UPM in communication. I really love this subject. It help me in any different way of communication. Then, I get my degree, 2nd class upper. I really satisfied.....thank you Allah....

Dear Diary,

I have to make a decision of my life too. I hope my decision can take me out of this problem. I don't want to give any trouble to her. That's why, I get married. Besides I really want a child that time, I also want to stay away from home. But otherwise, fate gives me something else. Too much challenges in my life. Until I reach the highest level of my patience. And I give up.......But I still believe in fate. I know it would be better one day......

Dear Diary,

Until now, I never make her satisfied with me....in whatever I did.....anything.....what I supposed to do? Just pray? Something miracle happen to me.....but when? Sometimes, I wanna give up of life. But I have to stay because of my children....and I'll do anything for them.... That's my promise..... I don't want my children go through my past experience... They deserve a better life.... with joy and love....

I'M WILLING TO SACRIFICE EVERYTHING FOR THEIR HAPPINESS....THAT'S MY PROMISE...AND I BELIEVE IN FATE..... ALWAYS BELIEVE....

I LOVE YOU IN ALL DIFFERENT WAY....

AND THAT IS ONLY YOU IN MY HEART.....

THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU AND ME

Checklist abg...

start tgh mlm....hehehe...

1. Call syg bg tau abg dh sampai....

2. Mandi.....kasi wangi2..hehehe...

3. Minum monavie...

4. Solat maghrib + isyak...pas tu sambung solat hajat..

5. Our Time.....

6. Sleeping..syg teman..hihi

7. Bangun..kejut syg solat subuh..(kalau tersedar.)hehe...

8. Morning wish n kiss untuk syg.....

9. Minum monavie n breakfast kalau ade..hehehe...

10. Hantar mak gi kedai beli lauk....

11. Masuk keje......

12. Skype ngan syg lepas keje selesai dan tak sibuk...

13. Buka email..fb..dan blog...tgk ape yg syg post untuk abg...

14. Sambung buat keje kalau ade lg keje yg tak settle...

15. Bila free call/msg syg.......

16. Tggu mak anta makanan.....sampai kita mkn dlu...hikhikhik..

17. Sambung buat ape yg patut....

18. Skype ngan syg.........

19. Check fb,email dan blog......

20. Kemas kedai...kira duit....

21. Tutup kedai......

22. Bagi tau syg bila dh selesai....

PERKARA YANG PERLU ANDA TAHU TENTANG SAYA

1. Suka kaler hitam (lady in black...heheh)
2. Musuh ketatku....LIPAS......eeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.......tolonglah jauhkan, esp yg boleh terbang.....
3. Gayat...hahahaha......patutlah naik kapal terbang pun bergegar....:)
4. Sifat yang paling dibenci... PENIPU dan BERLAGAK..... minta dijauhkan dari org2 begini....
5. Makanan favorite SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE tapi yg dibuat sendiri sebab setakat ni belum ada yg lebih sedap dari yg dibuat sendiri....hahahahah (perasan)
6. Suka tgk cerita hantu (horror n thriller) tapi tetap gak PENAKUT tidur sendiri......
7. Puaskan hati semua org dulu baru fikir pasal diri sendiri....
8. Addicted dengan bunga (esp pink carnation) dan perfume (esp Beautiful, EL)
9. Takut dengan dr. gigi. Walaupun tak pernah sakit gigi dan tak pernah rasa kena tampal tapi still takut. Heran betul.....
10. Bila sedih, marah, kecewa lebih suka DIAM, KURUNG DIRI, MENANGIS SORANG2. Lama2 tenang lah tu sendiri. Don't worry.....
11. MANJA.....adoiii....ni tak boleh buang....maybe sebab the one and only daughter.....terima jelah...
12. CEMBURU....ini lagilah tak boleh buang....sampai perasaan ni membawa kepada TRAUMA yang sangat dasyat. Sabar jelah.....
13. KARAOKE TIME.....walaupun suara tak sesedap mana, tapi susah nak buang. Dalam tandas, time masak, tengah driving, nak tido mesti nyanyi dulu.....hahahahahaha......kalau tak suka, tutup jelah telinga tu yer.....
14. Selagi boleh bersabar, akan kupertahankan. Tapi bila sampai satu tahap, keputusan dah dibuat, I'll never turn back......TRUST ME.....
15. FRIENDSHIP is everything for me..... but i never trust BACKSTABBER forever......watch out...
16. When I'm falling in love, it means forever, unless he did something wrong. Antaranya, TIDAK MELAKUKAN SURUHAN ALLAH DAN TIDAK MENINGGALKAN LARANGANNYA, CURANG, TIDAK RESPECT MY FAMILY n MY FRIENDS, PENIPU dan yg sewaktu dengannya....
17. Still believing in this priorities: GOD 1ST, FAMILY 2ND, CAREER 3RD.
18. Suka bagi surprise ngan org yg dicintai.....sebab suka tgk dia happy bila terima surprise tu... heheheheh
19. Suka minum air buah, makan buah2an...but now i just drink MONAVIE...sapa nak bagi minum 19 jenis buah sehari??? Hahahahahah......
20. I don't need anything in life, I just need my children, trust from my family and friends, to love and to be loved by YOU, MFH.......hehehehheh....that's all.......

-end-

MY CHECKLIST

1.               SOLAT HAJAT SELEPAS PUKUL 12AM

2.               “OUR TIME”

3.               SOLAT TAHAJJUD SEBELUM SOLAT SUBUH

4.               UCAPAN DAN CIUMAN SELAMAT PAGI UTK ABG

5.               URUS ANAK2 (MANDIKAN / HANTAR SEKOLAH / MENGAJI)

6.               CHECK CANTEEN

7.               SOLAT DHUHA DAN SOLAT HAJAT

8.               BREAKFAST DAN “MONAVIE TIME”

9.               CHECK EMAIL, FB, BLOG (POST SOMETHING TO ABG)

10.         CLOSING MONAVIE (AT LEAST 1 PERSON A DAY)

11.        AMBIL ANAK2 DARI SEKOLAH

12.        SOLAT ZOHOR

13.        MASAK N MAKAN TGH HARI

14.        BUAT ASSIGNMENT

15.        SMS / CALL/ CHAT NGAN ABG

16.        TGK TV

17.        MANDIKAN ANAK2

18.        SOLAT ASAR

19.        MASAK

20.         SOLAT MAGHRIB à SOLAT ISYAK

21.        URUS ANAK2, BAGI MAKAN / STUDY TIME

22.        BUAT ASSIGNMENT / CLOSING MONAVIE (KALAU ADA)

23.        SMS / CALL / CHAT NGAN ABG

24.        SLEEPING TIME……..

CINTA INI AKAN KU PERTAHANKAN.....

Bila ada yang Sayang, Jangan lukai hatinya ...

Bila ada yang Cinta, Jangan titiskan air matanya ...

Bila ada yang Menanti, Janganlah pergi meninggalkannya ..

Bila ada yang Kasih, Jangan membenci ...

Bila dia pergi, Carilah ia selagi dia bererti ...

Kerana bila dia tiada di sisi, Perasaan sepi dan Rindu menjadi teman diri..... jadi....... HARGAILAH.....

..satu WAKTU dulu..MUNGKIN saja..

kita pernah MENCINTAI, tapi DISAKITI..

kita pernah SETIA, tapi DIDUAKAN..

kita pernah MEMILIKI, tapi akhirnya KEHILANGAN..

kita pernah BERHARAP, tapi harapan tu cuma SIA-SIA..

Sesungguhnya..
ALLAH SWT itu Maha Bijaksana dan mengajar kita apa itu erti SABAR..kesulitan itu pasti berakhir dgn kebahagiaan..

Cinta bukanlah kata murah dan lumrah dituturkan dari mulut ke mulut tetapi cinta adalah anugerah Tuhan yang indah dan suci jika manusia dapat menilai kesuciannya.

TRAUMA ATAU TAWAKAL???

Coretan rasa, tak ada kene-mengena, hanya sebagai peringatan bersama......


Cukup untuk aku buat kesimpulan, lelaki yang dikatakan orang baik belum tentu baik! luar nampak lain, dalam belum tentu. kerana hati itu rahsia Allah. hanya Allah yang tahu apa yang ada di dalam hati dan minda seseorang.

aku tak boleh marah semua manusia yang bergelar lelaki atas apa yg pernah aku lalui selama ni, aku tak boleh salahkan takdir. sebab aku tahu ini semua ketentuan Ilahi. cuma boleh aku jadikan pengalaman hidup. 

tapi, satu, kerana lelakilah aku hilang kepercayaan,mungkin juga trauma. ya.

mungkin satu saat nanti persepsi itu berubah, tapi entah bila aku tak tahu,

Aku tak perlu menangis untuk sesuatu yang salah, sesuatu yang bodoh.

i'm okay.

i'm fine.

sebab aku masih ada keluarga yang ada di susah senangku

masih ada teman sebenar yang kenal diri aku dan tidak judge aku berdasarkan apa orang kata.

dan yang penting,

masih ada Allah yang tahu rahsia hidup masa depan aku.

tawakal.

=)

DEAR DIARY

Dear Diary,

I was so sad today. Last night I really hope we're back to be just like before. I really miss his voice, his laugh, the way he call my name, the way he talk to me, the way he kiss me. But i know, he's so tired. I really want to be an understanding lover for him. That's why i keep silent.... I hang up the phone and let him rest. I'm sorry my love. I didn't mean to ignore you....I just want to give you more space. But i cannot lie, i really miss the first day we talk on the telephone. It's like, we own this whole night. So, we called it OUR TIME. Thanks to Digi coz give us a free time. But now, where is OUR TIME? I still happy coz we used this OUR TIME to make 'solat hajat'. Thank you Allah..... but I still miss it.

Dear Diary,

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing in my mind was him. But i was so scared to call him. I'm so worried if I disturb him so early. So I just SMS him. I hope, he knows that I think about him when i open my eyes. Then, I'm waiting for him to call. Hmmmmm.... maybe he's still sleeping. I know he didn't work today. Just let him rest for a while. So I just SMS him to let him know where am I, what I was doing and so on..... but I really miss his voice.....

Dear Diary,

I try to call him, just to listen for his voice for a while. When I call, he answer me with indifferent voice. Maybe that was just my feeling. But, I really sad to hear the way he answer my call. So I pick up the phone. I know he would call me back like he use to be before. But he never return my call. So, I guess he need time to rest. He didn't want me to disturb him. 

Dear Diary,

What can I do? Am I wrong? or am I right? It's been 6 month he know me but he never knew me as well. I just want him to love me, to show his love in any way not just phrase "I LOVE YOU", to care and to do what he done before. I really miss the way he take care of me...... the way he hold me like I really feel that he's here right beside me.....the way he kiss me like I really feel his lips on my lips..... I really miss him....... and I don't know how to express my feeling...coz I don't want to pressure him....I'm trying to understand him.... and I'm still trying...... 

I MISS YOU, ABG.......REALLY MISS YOU......

KAULAH CINTA HATIKU

Cinta hatiku, 

aku terlalu bahagia memiliki dirimu,

Andai kini dirimu terluka,

ibarat aku berjalan tanpa cahaya,

Mungkin aku tahu,

aku tidaklah sesempurna,

Namun demi CINTA ini,

aku akan menyayangimu,

dengan cara yang sempurna,

Aku tak akan bersuara,

jika dirimu kekurangan,

Aku lebih bahagia,

dapat menjadi bingkai hatimu,

Pengorbananku tak pernah ku bicarakan,

Kesetiaanku tak pernah goyah,

Walau badai datang melanda,

Kejujuranku melebihi bahasa,

Kepercayaanmu selalu ku jaga,

Aku takkan pernah menanyakan,

seberapa besar dan seberapa dalam,

cintamu untukku,

Kerana ku tahu CINTA itu,

tak dapat diukur dengan apapun,

Kerana CINTA tulus itu mengalir,

tanpa ada sesiapa yang dapat menghalangnya...

THIS IS YOU, ABG.....MY ONE AND ONLY.... MY ONLY LOVE....AND MFH.....

KAU YANG TERAKHIR BAGIKU

Kau hadir dalam hidupku…

Kau memberikan aku kasih sayang yang sebenar

Aku bahagia memilikimu...

Akanku pertahankan perhubungan kita…

Dugaan akan banyak menghampiri kita...

Tapi kita mesti kuat untuk tempuh segala dugaan…

Aku sudah bernekad..kaulah yang terakhir aku kenali..

APA ITU CINTA?

Hadirmu begitu menyenangkan,

Membawa kehangatan dihati,

Aku yakin akan rasamu,

Aku terbuai akan indahmu,

Terkadang aku menangis keranamu,

Terkadang aku sakit atas ulahmu,

Terkadang aku kecewa atas perbuatanmu,

Terkadang aku bingung atas sikapmu,

Tapi mengapa aku masih percaya kepadamu,

Percaya kau akan memberikan kehangatan,

Percaya kau akan merubah hidupku,

Percaya kau akan memberikan yang terbaik,

Itulah dirimu CINTA,

Terkadang menyenangkan,

Terkadang menyakitkan,

Terkadang membingungkan,

Tapi selalu dinantikan,

Dari sebuah kebingungan yang,

Tidak dimengertikan oleh sesiapa...